acrappywebsite.com
A lot of times bitches will ask me a very unfair question. Even worse than when your girlfriend asks you if she's fat. They'll say "Randy, let me ask you something. Now be honest, do you think I'm a whore?" Now, you can handle this question one of two ways, assuming the bitch is actually a whore. If she isn't a whore you can just say "no" and move on with your life. Unless you want to have a little fun, in which case you can say "yes" and watch her cry. But if she is a whore, you can say one of two things. You can be a lying sack of shit and say "Oh no, of course you aren't a whore. Why would you think that?" Or, you can do what I do and be honest, and maybe even exaggerate her whorishness a little bit just for fun. Of course if you do this, you run the risk of being slapped, sued, or forbidden from ever tapping that ass again.
I have decided to do all of us a favor and provide a convenient escape route if you are ever asked that question. I have taken the liberty of developing a checklist that you can use to determine if you are a whore. Guys, if you are ever again asked that question, direct the whore to this checklist. Ho's, if you answer yes to any of the questions listed below, you are a whore, no questions asked. By the way, you may not want to do this with anybody near you. That way, when you answer yes to a question and you yell "JUST BECAUSE I ________ DOESN'T MAKE ME A WHORE!" nobody will hear you. For clarification purposes, sex means any kind of sex, whether it be intercourse, anal, or oral sex. Just because it wasn't intercourse doesn't make you any less of a whore.
the official acrappywebsite.com whore checklist
Have you ever...........
had sex with more than one person in any 24-hour period?
had sex with someone you had no intentions of entering a relationship with?
had sex with someone and money exchanged hands?
had sex with someone the same day you met them?
had sex with someone while you were in a relationship with someone else?
had sex that legally constituted statutory rape?
had sex with someone in exchange for something (i.e. a passing grade or admittance into a group)?
had sex with someone to secure a job, promotion, or raise?
had sex with someone who was in a relationship with or had recently broken up with a friend or relative?
had sex with anyone you knew to be in a relationship?
had sex with two guys at the same time (i.e. been "tag teamed")?
had sex with two or more people of any gender mix at the same time?
had sex with an animal? (very hairy, ugly people can count as animals)
had sex with someone whose first or last name name you did not know?
had sex with someone you were not in a relationship with just because you were bored?
been involved in a "gang bang"?
been in a relationship with someone just for their money?
suggested to a significant other that you have an "open" relationship because you like to sleep around?
made sex movies with or posed nude for someone with whom you had no long term commitment?
had sex with someone with the hope of making them like you? (this also makes you stupid)
dreamed of "performing" in the adult film industry?
dreamed of being a stripper?
actually been a stripper or been in the adult industry?
used sex to get what you want from somebody?
had to pause to think when someone asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
had to use your fingers to count how many sexual partners you've had?
been offended when asked how many partners you've had? (if you weren't a whore, you wouldn't care)
been offended when somebody jokingly called you a whore?
said "I'm a whore, just kidding."?
said "I hope you don't think I'm a whore"?
said "I don't usually do this on a first date"?
said "I'm actually still a virgin"?
If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you are a whore. If you don't like it, change your behavior. And if you've ever been tag teamed or gang banged, there's no going back. You could never have sex again until you were married and you'd still be a whore. If you've been tag teamed or gang banged you are a whore among whores. Congratulations.
whores still refuse to admit that they're whores