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Are you and that special someone still trying to figure out what to do for Valentine's Day? Personally I reccomend sex. But if you're one of those couples who likes to waste their time doing things that don't involve being naked, I've got a wild idea for you. A well-known restaurant chain has come up with an idea to boost sales on Valentine's Day by serving special Valentine's Day dinners by candle light. Sweep your date off her feet by putting on your best shirt and tie, break out a new bottle of cologne, get some flowers, and pick up your date for a quiet, romantic, candle-lit dinner for two. Where can I have this blissfully romantic dining experience, you ask?

White Castle.

Yep. White Castle. Whether this is a nation-wide thing or just some select stores, I couldn't tell you. From what I understand, the idea originated in Indiana and has made its way over to Ohio, not unlike a cancerous tumor. White Castle is actually planning on giving their Valentine's Day customers the most romantic dining experience around. And apparently they think this is going to be popular because they are taking reservations. At White Castle. And just so there's no confusion, I do mean the White Castle that's open 24 hours with the really tiny burgers that taste like pig shit covered in half a pound of week-old grease. What an idea, I mean nothing says romance like shitty, greasy, disgusting burgers served to you by some hillbilly White Castle employee with missing teeth and fleas in their hair. I remember the last time I was in a White Castle, it was so clean that I could actually see the floor underneath all the cockroaches. The really sad thing is, if I didn't work tomorrow, I would go, if only to see all the white trash freaks that you know are going to be there. I'm guessing there will be mullets galore. I mean to a lot of people, White Trashle is actually quite fancy dining. Well, I was going to make fun of this some more, but I'm really tired and want to go to bed.

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