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I was reading an article online. It was called "What women really want." That's how bored I was. For about ninety seconds of my life, I actually gave a crap about women's feelings. I was alarmed, so I watched a lesbian porn to reassure myself that all women are good for is sex. It was a pretty good one. Except I can't figure out why I can never find these sexy lesbian pool parties in real life. You see them in pornos all the time and they're such good ideas that you'd think there would be at least one lesbian pool party on every city block. The pool at my apartment complex is about a hundred feet from my apartment. Now, you'd think with all the college sluts who live in my apartment complex, I would have seen at least one sexy lesbian pool party in the almost two years I've been living here.

There was this one time I was watching a porno and it had the worst plot I'd ever seen in a porno. I know, I know, pornos all have stupid plots. But this one was especially bad. So anyway, every time this guy turns on the water in his shower, a hot naked horny chick with big thingies appeared. I believe they called them "water nymphos." Porno writers are so very clever. So anyway, this guy would turn on his shower and these naked chicks would appear and want nothing more than to be sexed up. So what do you think the guy did? He got mad. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. If a naked chick appeared every time I turned my shower on, I would never leave the bathroom. I would starve to death. And this guy got mad. And then there was this one time when there were two "water nymphos" going at it like wild animals in the shower. That was hot. I think lesbians in the shower is just about as hot as it gets. I don't even know how the hell I got on this subject. I think I'm just tired.

crap from 2005