Sometimes I think everyone is a dumbass but me. Of course, when I really think about it, it isn't true. It's just that the people who are the biggest dumbasses just happen to also be the loudest and produce the most offspring. But what pisses me off about dumbasses even more than the simple fact of being dumbasses is when they pretending they aren't fucking stupid by spewing retarded, unoriginal crap at you like they've just discovered the cure for cancer and somebody actually gives a shit what they have to say.Of all the things that dumbasses say, the absolute dumbest just might be the assholes who don't think we should have to pay taxes.
It just blows my mind that people can actually be so God damn stupid as to think this for even one second. Let's see here, taxes are when I pay money to somebody else, but don't receive something tangible back that I can hold in my hand and feel like I got something in return for my money. Well hell, if I don't get to take something home with me in exchange for my tax money, I shouldn't have to pay it. DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Do you ass clowns have any idea how much money it costs to run a country this large? A shit ton, that's how much. People go to work and pay their taxes and act like they're getting nothing in return, but let's just see what would happen if we stopped paying taxes altogether. It might go something like this...
IF WE DIDN'T PAY TAXES
You get in your car to go home from work. Of course there's no roads, so you have to drive on an unpaved stretch of grass and dirt. And there's no traffic lights, stops signs, or even lanes for cars to stay in, so then you see a car coming straight at you and you swerve. You miss the car but, uh-oh, the wheel on your brand new car just flew off because the government didn't inspect the safety of the vehicle so you drive straight into a tree, so now you've got a broken neck and need to get to the hospital. Except now you can't call 9-1-1 because that was run by the government which no longer has any tax money to spend. So since your car is totaled, you have to walk to the hospital with a broken neck, and of course there's no signs indicating which way the hospital is because the government paid for those.
So then you get to the hospital, and I'll be damned, they're no longer getting any grant money from the government, so they have to skimp on a few expenses. Of course, since the government can't give grant money to higher education either, that means it's more expensive, which means there aren't enough doctors to go around and the only doctor currently on staff at this hospital looks like Larry the Cable Guy. So they're short on labor and everyone has a broken neck because there are no roads and their cars are all pieces of shit, so you're stuck there with your broken neck overnight. Finally, the next morning your "doctor" has time to see you. He asks you what you did, and you explain that you have a broken neck because there are no roads and your car is a piece of shit. He scratches his balls, picks his nose, takes a few puffs on his cigarette, and then says he thinks he can help you. So he grabs a roll of duct tape and wraps your neck up nice and tight. You see, he explains, that hospital can't afford proper medical equipment because they don't have any government grants and there's a doctor shortage so they hired him because he can fix anything with duct tape and a wrench.
So finally you leave the hospital with your neck bound in duct tape. Unfortunately, you were there overnight and you're late for work. But of course your car is totaled so you can't ride it to work, you just have to walk. So by the time you get to work, your shift is over and they fire you for missing your shift, which really sucks because you really needed that health insurance to pay for your broken neck. And of course there's no COBRA so you're SOL on the health insurance. You also can't pay for it out of your pocket because now you're unemployed and you can't get unemployment because there is none, and you can't get welfare because there's none of that either. You also can't replace your car because the insurance company isn't going to replace it since there's no money for a government agency to make them do it. So you get home and tell your girlfriend, who decides she can't be with a bum with no car and no job (because let's face it, with your broken neck, it'll be awhile before you can work again) so she leaves you to be with your brother, who has a job and a car.
To make matters worse, you just turned 65 and you would be eligible for Medicare and Social Security, except there is none so you're fucked. You've got no job, no car, no money, and no health insurance to pay for your broken neck. So you decide to do the natural thing, sit down and watch TV. But then Bubba knocks down your front door. Bubba is really big and scary and he wants to steal your TV. Of course, you couldn't fight off Bubba even when you were healthy, and now you've got a broken neck, so Bubba just takes your TV. You can't call the police to help you because there are none. So you go to make yourself a bologna sandwich. Uh-oh, there's no health departments checking food quality, so now you've got food poisoning from your bologna. Oh and now that you have no money you can't afford to pay the trash collectors so your house stinks from all the trash that's building up.
And then the French army attacks you. They prance into your house wearing tutus and bunny slippers and shove a French flag on a pole into your living room floor and say "I claim zees land faw da Fwench peeypole!" Then they all get naked and have a big orgy in your living room. Of course you can't call the army to get the Frenchies out because there is no army, so you have no choice but to sit there with a broken neck watching all those naked French asses in your living room.
So to recap, you've got food poisoning and a broken neck that's currently duct-taped together. You've got no car, no job, no money, no health insurance, and no TV. Your house smells like shit, your girlfriend is fucking your brother, and the French army is having an orgy in your living room, which is now a French territory. And it's all because the government doesn't have any money because we don't pay taxes.
Thank God for taxes.