Apparently, some of what I say is offensive to people of the homosexual persuasion and people who call themselves supporters of gay rights, in other words, closet homosexuals. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that all people who support gay rights are closet homosexuals, but if you get offended by somebody calling someone else a "fag" or "homo" as an insult, then I'd say there's a very good chance that you are not quite completely straight. Anyway, it has come to my attention I say a lot of things such as "that's gay" or I refer to people I dislike as "fags" or "homos" or "buttfuckers", or other such names whose technical meaning is a homosexual or something else that has to do with homosexuality.
I myself, couldn't care less if you're gay. I happen to be a vaginatarian, but if you like the penis, that's cool, whatever floats your boat. I am not saying that heterosexual people are in any way superior to homosexuals. I myself think gay rights are long overdue. I don't think the gay lifestyle is right or wrong, I don't feel that is my decision to make, and I think what you do in your bedroom is your business. However, I do think the prevalent gay attitude is very irritating. I think gay people sometimes try to act overly gay just to shove their homosexuality in my face, as though they're proud of it and want to make damn sure I know they're gay. Now, I don't think being gay is anything to be ashamed of, but I also don't think it's something to be proud of. Just like being straight is nothing to be ashamed or proud of. You are the way you are, so just accept it and accept the fact that nobody else cares and your shoving your gayness in their face is what leads to aggression against gays, not the gay lifestyle itself.
The gay attitude is very annoying. I think gay men are more feminine than women, and they try to be that way. Cheering, dressing as though it actually matters what you wear, giggling, clapping for no apparent reason, and talking in super-dramatic fashion really grates on one's nerves. And that has nothing to do with being gay. I've known straight guys who act like that and it pisses me off just as much as when gay guys do it. And by the way, how does being gay give you a lisp? Is it something they practice or does it just naturally happen to your voice when you decide you like the sausage. I don't know if maybe your lips get a coating of semen or something like that. Hell, I don't know. But the point is, it's fucking annoying. And another thing that irritates me about gay people is the ones who act incredibly gay, and everyone knows they're gay, yet they pretend they aren't. I don't know how many guys I've seen who act completely gay, but almost right as soon as they're introduced, tell you about their girlfriend. The girlfriend's name always ends up being something like Lance or Julien or Vinny. Or like when a gay guy is watching a couple walk and he says something like "Oh, she's hot", but everyone can see that he's checking out the guy's ass. It's okay to be gay, but it's annoying when you are but pretend you aren't. Honestly, I would have to say that the twitchiness and the lisp and the cheering and the giggling bother me a lot more than the boy-boy love.
That reminds me of a story. There was this gay guy who went to my school who was my age and we were in the same major so naturally he was in about half my classes. Well, I hated the guy and it had nothing to do with him being gay. He was a friend of my ex's and let's just say he caused a lot of undue strain on that relationship because of shit he did and she would always defend him. By the way, he was another one who swore up and down he was straight, right up until he broke up with his boyfriend who got so mad that he ran up and down his dorm hall telling everyone that he was gay and liked to give blowjobs. I knew he was gay all along and my ex yelled at me for saying so probably five hundred times, but of course the bitch never apologized for yelling at me after it came out that he was actually gay. That's okay, I'm far better off with my current relationship anyway. So anyway, this guy and his boyfriend were in one of my classes and we got assigned seats and they were assigned to sit next to each other, right directly in front of me. Those classes were two hours long and every single class was the longest two hours of my life. Oh my god, those two were so fuckin gay. They make the "Queer Eye" guys look straight. Anyway, these two would talk all fucking class long and they would giggle and play footsy and poke each other under the table and talk about who was going to pitch next and who was going to please who and it went on like that for two hours at a time, twice a week, for ten weeks. Longest quarter of my college career. Needless to say I skipped about half of those classes.
Yeah anyway, so back to why I say things like "fag" and "homo" and "buttfucker" so much. When I use words that denote homosexuals or homosexuality. I don't actually mean that that thing or person is homosexual. Blade Trinity was a very gay movie. Obviously, a movie cannot be homosexual so I don't mean it literally. I believe in at least one place I called Bill Clinton a homo or a fag or something like that, but it's a well-documented fact that Bill Clinton likes the fat chicks, so I don't actually mean that he is gay. It's like just about every other insult out there, it isn't meant to be taken literally. When somebody calls somebody else an asshole, they don't mean that they are literally the crack of somebody's butt. You mean that they are a mean-tempered person. Or if you call someone a bitch, you don't actually mean that she is of the canine family. You mean that she is a cranky woman. Think of it back when we were all in grade school. I know we all called each other fags. If there was a kid you didn't like, you called him a fag. We didn't even know what the hell it meant, we just knew we were insulting the guy. Observe;
You see. When I call Ryan Reynolds (the fag who ruined Blade Trinity) a buttfucking faggot, I don't actually mean that he is gay and has anal sex with men. What I do mean is that I hate Ryan Reynolds and I am trying to voice my displeasure with him in the funniest (I think) phrasing that comes to me at the time. I could also call Ryan Reynolds a pillow-biting homo. Or a butt-pirate. That's always a good one. Or maybe a shithead. Another classic. You see, I just enjoy using the word fag. If you still don't like my word choice, then you're a fag too. Shutup fag.
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