So the other day I was cleaning out Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's house and I found the following note:
BEN ROETHLISBERGER'S TO-DO LIST
-The gray-haired chick at the post office
-The fryer chick at Burger King
-The lunch lady from my grade school
-That Mexican stewardess from that flight the other day
-The garbage lady
-Coach Tomlin's momma
-The vet, not the dude, the other vet
-The plastic surgeon I went to about getting a nose job
-The chick with the lazy-eye from Dunkin Donuts
-That lady cop who arrested me the other day
-The Steeler fans
-The Rooney family
-The NFLPA
-Commissioner Goodell
True story.