Penises may be the most under-rated body part of all. You never think about all the cool shit you can do just by having one. Cool shit like...
Peeing standing up.
Being able to unzip your pants and pee without even taking your pants off.
Writing your name in the snow.
Being able to pee into a bottle while you're driving.
Tucking it back between your legs and then running down the hall screaming "Oh my God, it fell off!"
Watching a porno and giving it three thumbs up.
Always having a coat rack handy.
Being able to pitch a tent under the covers in bed.
Being able to make decisions.
Being able to fix things.
Having problem solving skills.
Being able to think rationally without being burdened by f**lings.
Being able to appreciate real movies, you know, they kind where shit blows up.
Being able to contribute something more than babies to society.