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Today I'm going to bitch about something that has been pissing me off for a few years now, but I've never gotten around to it until now. Ever since I've lived in my current apartment, I've had to put up with everyone inventing their own parking spaces, and it really pisses me off. I've taken the liberty of making a diagram of my parking lot, seen in Figure 1 below.

As you can see, I spent a lot of time on this diagram and it is completely accurate and to scale. The key also took me a lot of time to complete, as you can see from the painstaking detail. So anyway, this is my apartment building and adjacent parking lot. Nothing too complex or unusual. I really don't think it's that difficult to figure out, nor should it be hard to find a legal parking space therein.

But of course, everything is simple on paper until you add in the human elements of laziness and inconsideration. So of course, when these spaces are full, people invent their own spaces rather than park on the other side of the lot, which would force them to walk an extra ten feet, which is unacceptable.

For example, they might park in the not-a-fucking-parking-space shown in Figure 2 below.

As you can plainly see in the above figure, X is not a fucking parking space. Yet people park there anyway. The problem is that X is not wide enough to actually be a parking space, and there is a cement block to the left of X, which means they need to park so that their car is sticking over into the parking space on the immediate right. This can be quite a problem, because if you park your car in the spot to the right of X, and some cock-nose decides to park in X, you might have a tough time getting into your car through the driver's side door. Sometimes, said cock-nose has parked so close to my driver's side that I've had to get into my car from the passenger side. Which is why X is...NOT A FUCKING PARKING SPACE.

This is another not-a-fucking-parking-space assholes like to park in. This one can be pretty funny when it happens if someone parks in the not-a-fucking-parking-space shown in Figure 2, they are most likely going to be blocked in. Serves those assholes right. But sometimes, if their car is especially long, parking in X can block in the person who had to climb in the passenger side in the example from Figure 2. This happened to me once, and I was incredibly pissed off, because when you get parked in like that you have to drive over the cement blocks and through the grass to get out, which is why X is...NOT A FUCKING PARKING SPACE.

We have a guy now who really likes parking in X. He drives a van and every single day his van is in X. Only he doesn't pull up far enough so his van's ass sticks out like three feet and you need to drive around it. X isn't as much of a problem as the others, since it doesn't block anybody in or make them get in the passenger door, but it's still...NOT A FUCKING PARKING SPACE.

This one doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's sure to piss everybody off. This happens mostly when people are moving into or out of the complex. They will pull their truck or van into the grass and right up to the building to unload it. The best is when they're moving into or out of a second-floor apartment, so they pull right up to the stairway so they can step off their truck right onto the stairs, which makes it very convenient for them. And it doesn't inconvenience anybody else at all. Unless, of course, there's someone else who happens to live upstairs who needs to come downstairs and whose final destination isn't the back of some dipshit's truck who's too inconsiderate to leave enough space for other people to go up and down the stairs. I had some ignorant fucking jerkoff do that to me one time, and then actually called me a selfish for asking him to move his truck because I needed to get to work and needed to get down the stairs. I think they were my favorite neighbors ever. Which is why X is...you guessed it...NOT A FUCKING PARKING SPACE.

I feel better now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No I don't. Because I know that asshole's van is still down there and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. Fuck him and his van.