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I recently stumbled across an internet advice bit where a reader (male) had written in and said he and his wife were arguing because he thought it was inappropriate for his wife to take baths with their two boys, who were three and one. He thought it was inappropriate and would scar them and his wife thought he was a prude. The advice columnist, who for the record, was a woman, sided with the man's wife and thought there was nothing wrong with being naked with your opposite sex children, even at three years old.

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Am I the only person who sees how seriously fucked up this is? Apparently I am, because readers were writing in sounding off on whether they agreed or disagreed and according to my count, more than half of the respondents sided with the wife and the advice columnist in the belief that it is just ducky to be butt naked with your kids of the opposite gender.

Now frankly, I am scarred enough knowing that I was breast-fed. I mean if you think about it, that is fucking gross. And here we have parents talking about bathing with their three year old kids. There's something just a little bit creepy and child molester-y about about that. I mean for God's sake, why the hell would you even want to be naked with your kids? These aren't nudists or exhibitionists we're talking about. People who normally wear clothes in public are completely fine with being naked with their kids. Hell I feel awkward enough being naked around my cats, and they're always naked.

The especially shocking thing is, not only did the columnist consider being naked with your kids not wrong, she thought it could do a lot of good. Here are some of the "pros" of getting naked with your kids.

Your kids learn about the differences between the sexes. You know, that's all well and good, but if you really want your kids to know the difference between a boy and a girl, why not show them pictures? And I'm not even talking about porn. You can open up an encyclopedia or a health book and get a detailed enough picture to explain the difference. I didn't learn about the female form by seeing my mom naked and I'm much happier for it. I learned about women's bodies from females who happen to be my own age and not related to me. Well them and a buttload of porn.

Your kids feel closer to you. There are a lot of ways to feel close to your kids. You can all go to an amusement park or the circus or a sporting event. You can spend the day making cookies. You can go to the video store and pick out a movie together and pop some popcorn together and watch the movie. You can play a board game. Besides, this "pro" of being naked with your kids is worded suspiciously like one of the reasons people give for wanting to have sex with someone they love when they lose their virginity.

It helps you and your kids feel comfortable about their own bodies. Once again, this is something that can be accomplished very well by doing things other than looking at each other's private parts. You can do things like telling they're looking good if they get dressed up or they get a haircut or something. You can build their self esteem by encouraging them in their interests and things they do well. Or you could do what I do and find people even uglier than you are and laugh at them and thank God you aren't as ugly as they are. Always makes me feel better.

Your kids learn about their own bodies and how they work. Again, something you can do with clothes on. Plus, this is better done by the same-sex parent anyhow. I would much rather have my dad telling me what my penis is than my mom as she shows me what she has and what it does and how the one is designed to fit in the other. Oh God, I'm about to throw up just writing this. And there are some things that it doesn't hurt to let your children discover for themselves in time. For example, I think it would have been a little awkward for my dad to tell me that if I tugged on my penis a little bit, white stuff would come out. Although discovering it by accident was quite an adventure. God damn I freaked out. I didn't know what the hell happened.

And that reminds me, why is it that growing up, pretty much almost until you get to college, people all pretend they don't masturbate? I remember growing up boys would always tease each other by saying things like "I bet you play with yourself" or if you had to scratch your balls and somebody saw you they'd laugh and accuse you of playing with yourself. As if playing with yourself is such a terrible thing. I remember in high school we all made fun of each other for masturbating even though we all knew damn well we did it ourselves. But the thing is, nobody knew that everybody did it. At least at my school anyway. There were a lot of rich people at my school so maybe it was more uptight than most, but I remember when I got to college and people started talking about how they beat off I was so relieved. Here all these years I thought I was the only pervert who masturbated, only to get to college and find out it's completely normal. And if any guy says he doesn't do it, that means they do it like five times a day.

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freaks think it's okay to be naked with your young children