Nate writes:
Hey Randy,
First of all, I want to say that I love your website and your rants about everything ranging from Avril Lavigne not being punk to why Christmas sucks. I love the fact that you're not afraid to push limits on humor too.
Okay, now that that's out of the way... I'm studying to become a Quaker minister of some sort (I'm going to hell for reading your website probably) and your views on Christianity really interest me. You don't seem like the typical, stuck-up anti-Christian jerk. Your views actually have substance.
Basically, my question is: what is your biggest beef with Christianity and the people who follow the faith?
-Nate
Nate, thanks for writing. I'm glad you enjoy the site, and for the record, yes, you probably are going to hell for reading it.
As far as your comments and question about my viewpoints on Christianity, I'll give you a little background information on myself so you know where I'm coming from. I was born and raised in a Pentecostal Christian home. And yes, that would be the denomination famous for speaking in tongues and dancing like drunken fools. My little brother and I were in church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. My mom was the kind of super-religious mother that takes her children's religious instruction very seriously and will go to extreme lengths to protect them from any non-Christian influence, as I discussed in "Things my Mommy Taught me were Satanic." Until high school, I always just took everything I'd been taught at face value without every really questioning it. Then I started thinking about what I believed and why and decided that no matter how much I wanted to believe (and I really did), I just wasn't sure there was a God, and if there is one, who's to say he's the "Good Guy" after all? The day I admitted to my mother (and myself) that I didn't believe in God was the most difficult day of my life, because I admitted to myself that I had been living a lie for the first eighteen years of my life. I also came face to face with the uncertainty of what would happen if I was wrong. I didn't sleep that night and most of that week. But after coming to terms with my decision, I've found peace with my beliefs and I am far happier than I ever was as a Christian. I've spent the last ten years reading books on different religious and philosophical viewpoints and debating them with intelligent (and not argumentative) individuals every chance I've gotten. For me, the question of "Why are we here?" is the greatest mystery of life, and one that requires far more thought and attention than most people are willing or intellectually capable enough to devote.
Which brings me to my two beefs with Christianity, which are really not with the religion itself, but rather with a very large number of adherents. The core values of the Judeo-Christian belief system to me are good values to have. Love your neighbor. Don't murder people. Don't cheat on your wife. Don't steal shit. I mean really, taking out the whole "God" thing, Christians and I see very much eye-to-eye on a lot of different subjects. It's the people representing the beliefs that frequently rub me the wrong way.
My first beef is the same one I have with every other missionizing religion in the world. The problem with believing that you are right is that you obviously believe that people who disagree with you are wrong. Sounds simple enough, but it's a big problem when it's combined with the fact that Christianity is a missionizing religion, meaning the religion itself instructs its' adherents to convert as many people as possible. While well-meaning, the end result of this belief is that Christianity itself is instructing you to do all you can to change the minds of non-believers because you believe they are wrong and it is your job to correct them.
Now, some Christians can do this respectfully and in a way that doesn't offend or belittle those with differing viewpoints. Other Christians, not so much. Religion, ignorance, and stubbornness are a terrible and dangerous combination. How many wars have been fought throughout history (and are still fought in less educated regions of the world) because people were really, really convinced that their answer to the meaning of life was right, and those other assholes had it all wrong? Even outside the context of wars, how many people have died over the question of whose God is the true God?And even in a civilized, educated society such as America, people of differing religious viewpoints are looked down upon, ridiculed, or harassed because of it. There are so many people out there who are more likely to put down your beliefs than discuss them intelligently, or to just let you live your life in peace.
But my bigger problem with Christians may be the astounding level of ignorance that is evident in so many of them. This isn't to say that being a Christian is ignorant in and of itself, because it isn't, but there are four common behaviors exhibited by a very large percentage of Christians that are extremely ignorant. Those four:
1. Assuming that Christian = good person and Non-Christian = bad person.
2. Attacking people of other viewpoints with arguments that could work against themselves and their beliefs just as easily.
3. Having no idea what they actually believe because they haven't actually looked into it or even read the Bible (you know, that big black book they claim to base their entire freaking lives on).
4. Assuming their beliefs first, then using those beliefs to explain the world around them, rather than looking at the world objectively and drawing conclusions based on what the most logical answer seems to be.
For my first point, we live in a culture where so many people assume that being a Christian automatically makes one a good person, and/or that people who are not Christians must not be good people. This is anything but true and has caused lots of problems in today's society. The foremost problem may be that church and religion are a very common way for some very bad people to fool others into thinking they're nice people, when in fact they're wolves in sheep's clothing.
For example, a couple years ago at my job we hired a cook who was a supposedly reformed felon. He had been to prison for several years for burglary and when he got out he started going to church, married someone from his new church, and got a job with us because the owner had met him through church. Everything that everyone said about this guy was that he was a reformed man who had found Jesus and turned his life completely around. After all, he was going to church, praying and reading the Bible, and had married a church choir singer. It was a great feel-good story. I almost felt bad for ruining everyone's nice second-chance story when we fired the guy because we found out we had sixteen-year-old girls bringing pepper spray to work because they were afraid he was going to rape them because of some of the most inappropriate and disgusting overtly sexual comments he made to and about these underaged girls when nobody else was around.
Another situation that happened to my wife was the result of another nice church-going Christian. The guy was a recent college graduate who was very active with his church and was such a great humanitarian that he had a social-work degree so he could work with abused children and help them straighten their lives out. He loved kids so much he even volunteered to babysit for his fellow church members. Well, my wife (a pre-school teacher for over a decade) was really getting the molester vibe from the guy (and she's dealt with plenty of them in her work) and she didn't trust the guy. Well, her mistrust went unheeded and people turned against her because he was a good Christian and my wife is not, which to them meant he is a good person and she is not. And they all truly believed that. Right up until the day the guy's picture was on the front page of the newspaper for molesting boys he'd been working with at his job and who he had met babysitting for their parents who were fellow church members. Both of these two situations were a direct result of the misconception that Christians are good people and bad people taking advantage of that. This misconception is grossly incorrect, and extremely dangerous because of situations just like this that happen every day.
My second point about the ignorance of so many Christians is attacking myself or others using arguments that could just as easily be used against Christians and their beliefs. One of my favorite was a Christian once asked me if God didn't create the world, then where did it all come from. Answering honestly, I said "I don't know." That to him was proof that there was a God because if I don't know where everything came from, since it had to come from somewhere, it had to be God. So I asked him where God came from. His response was "That's just part of the mystery that we will not understand until God tells us." So let me get this straight, if I, as an atheist, don't have an answer for everything, that means that I'm wrong. But if a Christian doesn't have an answer for everything, then we're not supposed to know. That is the classic Christian cop-out. Nobody has all the answers, and that's okay. But just because an individual doesn't have all the answers, doesn't mean their entire belief system is wrong. A lot of Christians are very willing to accept that about Christianity, but as soon as an atheist doesn't have all the answers, it's because they're wrong.
However, my all-time favorite example of this particular type of Christian ignorance is what my mom said to me the day I told her I didn't believe in God. She said "Just because you don't think there's a God doesn't mean there isn't one." My response was "Just because you think there IS a God, doesn't mean there IS one." Her response to that was "I don't THINK there's a God, I KNOW there's a God." If you don't see the absolute absurdity of this way of thinking (which is unfortunately all too common among Christians), you're frankly beyond help.
The third point about the ignorance of so many Christians is those who have no idea what they actually believe because they make no effort themselves to actually look into it or even read the Bible, they just blindly accept whatever they're taught by their parents or minister without ever questioning anything. For example, most Christians would be shocked to know that in the laws given by God to Moses, the penalty for raping an unmarried woman was...marrying her and paying her father the amount typically paid by men to their bride's father. Seriously. Let that sink in. Think about if that was the case today. Last summer when Ben Rapistberger was in that Georgia bathroom, that would have legally been the equivalent of a marriage proposal, only the woman wouldn't have had the right to say no. And instead of Ben getting in trouble, he would have a new wife. I thought about making a joke here about how that would streamline the dating process, but the fact that this is actually what was done makes it feel cruel to joke about. Of course, some Christians will point out that "That's the Old Testament" which is the Christian cop-out way of excusing things that don't make sense, implying that any instructions the Bible gives before the birth of Christ are optional at best. Of course, the Ten Commandments were given by God to Moses in...the Old Testament, and I don't hear any Christians suggesting those should not be followed.
Another thing that most Christians don't really realize is that Christianity (which is supposedly a religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ), is actually based far more on the teachings of Paul, who never even met Christ. Looking at the New Testament (which is what Christianity is largely based off of), there are only the first four books that even mention Christ's teachings specifically, but most of the rest of the Bible after the Gospels, was written by Paul, who freely interjects his own opinions in. For example, according to Paul, the only acceptable reason to get married is if you're too horny to control yourself because having a wife gets in the way of you and God. Now, when Paul said that he did make it clear that this advice was given by himself and not by God. But the fact remains that the world's largest religion is very much based on the teachings of a man whose advice would lead to the end of humanity if followed to the letter. And most Christians don't even realize that, because of course that's not going to be discussed in Sunday School.
Finally, the Christian ignorance that irks me beyond all else has to be the manipulating way in which so many Christians assume that their beliefs are correct, then use those beliefs to define everything that happens around them, rather than look at things from an honest, open-minded perspective and draw a logical conclusion. For example, in the months following the end of my first serious relationship (which ended because my then-girlfriend dumped me on my ass because she wanted to be a typical college whore and drink and sleep around), I went through a long period of depression. It took me a long time to get over it, but eventually I did. The biggest problem I had at the time was that that girlfriend had been 90% of my social life and I had completely neglected almost all my other relationships with friends so I really had just about nothing left when she dumped me. Well, over the next year I did a lot of things to improve my mental state. I got out more and opened up to more people, made some new friends, spent more time with the friends I had, ate healthier, went to the gym and exercised more than I had in years, and eventually met the woman who is now my wife. And until I had gotten my shit straightened out I was on antidepressants for quite awhile. About a year after my breakup I had a conversation with my mom and she said "I'm glad you're doing better. I know you were on the anti-depressants and you've made new friends and you're healthier and in a new relationship, but I really feel the reason you're doing better is because I've been praying for you, and that should show that there is a God and he cares about you." Yeah, she seriously said that. This is what I've been dealing with for 29 years. The woman who taught me everything I knew about religion until my late teenage years listed four different reasons having nothing to do with God that would make an individual feel better about themselves, yet she decided to give all the credit to her saying a few words to her God every night. I was insulted. God didn't go out of his way to meet new people and spend more time socially with friends. God didn't go to the doctor and get a prescription for anti-depressants. God didn't get out and meet a new person who ended up being FAR better for me than the one I'd been dumped by. And God didn't make the decision to drag my ass to the gym, lift weights, get on the treadmill, and start eating less junk food and more healthy food. I did all that. But to my mother, it was all because God loves me. Because without ever thinking about it rationally and objectively, she assumes that her beliefs are fact and they are ultimately responsible for everything that ever happens to us no matter what else may appear to be going on.
And THAT, Nate, is my two main beefs with Christians. I'm sure this was probably a lot more extensive than what you were looking for in answer to your question, but I've always believed in saying things completely rather than half-assing it, and as someone who reads my site you're probably already well aware of that. I also wanted to provide examples from my life so people I'm not just making generalizations here, these opinions are the cumulative result of almost thirty years of life experience, with the first 18 years of experience as a Christian, so I've seen it from the other side as well. And I freely admit, when I was a Christian, I was just as guilty of some of these things that annoy me now, because having grown up in church you're conditioned to think a certain way, and it wasn't until I broke free of that environment that I learned just how backwards a lot of things were that I had taken as gospel.
And one thing I do want to make completely clear one final time is that none of these complaints have anything to do with Christianity in and of itself. These are all a byproduct of people who choose to define themselves as Christians that put it in such a poor light. And such behavior isn't even exclusive to Christians by any means. Every religion has people who make that religion look bad. And there are atheists who make all atheists look bad. But as Christians (or people who fancy themselves so) are in the majority in our culture, they are the most prevalent source of religious friction throughout the course of my life. And as Christians are the group I was asked about, that's who I answered about.
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