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Now I haven't seen the original Manchurian Candidate so I have no idea if this was a disappointment or if the original sucked ass too and then somehow got remade by some crackhead, but I do know this one sucked donkey balls. On the surface it sounds like an interesting concept for an idea. A private company who has done research in brain implants and mind control essentially takes over an army troop during the Gulf War and puts implants in their mind, essentially training them to be robots. Fifteen years later one of the men, who received a Congressional Medal of Honor, has a successful political career and is pushed as a vice presidential candidate with a plot to assassinate the new president after the election, thus leaving the president-elect completely under the control of a private company. Now this sounds like a scary idea, except for one big problem. The president is already controlled by private companies and industries. Americans tend to have this idealistic view of our government that the president always makes up his own mind and isn't influenced by outsiders. Wrong. The president wants to stay president, so he isn't going to do anything to piss off either his party or the companies and individuals who financed his campaign. Therefore he is going to make the decisions that his party and his party's contributors want him to make. Simple as that. Private companies may not surgically place brain implants into our leaders' minds, but they do have a very subtle but very real influence on the direction of this country.

So back to how much this movie sucked. First of all, they kept inserting weird music at weird times and it didn't fit at all, and that bothered me. There was even one scene where there was this gay music playing and some guy talking on the radio at the same time so you couldn't really hear either one that well. Then there was the shitty acting. I don't know the guy's name who played Raymond Shaw, the vice presidential candidate who has been brainwashed, but I keep seeing his stupid ass in movies and he always sucks and he pisses me off every time. Then the chick who plays the FBI agent on the case. I hate her too. I keep seeing her in a bunch of movies, too, and she always plays the same fucking character. She's always a cranky bitch with sand in her vagina and I hate her and want her to die a horrible fiery death. Then there was the cranky bitch who played the VP candidate's mother who was a senator and the leader of the Democratic party on whose ticket Shaw runs. They never actually say which party it is, but if you pay close attention to the states they say they traditionally win and lose and you listen to some of the issues they campaign, it's the Democrats.

I don't know what it is about mothers who are trying to sculpt their sons into world leaders, but there is always at least one make out scene per movie between such pairs. In Alexander there was the disturbing sexual tension between Alexander and his mom and in this movie there was a scene where Shaw's mom was kneeling in front of him telling him what a great world leader he was going to make. It looked like a scene out of a porno just before the chick takes off the guy's pants and starts giving him a blowjob. I half expected to see that here. Instead she stood up and kissed him very slowly on the lips and then pulled back, then looked deeply into his eyes, opened her mouth, and leaned in to kiss him again. Thankfully they ended the scene so we didn't see mother and son having wild monkey sex. I was surprised because Shaw had a hardon for this Jocelyn chick the entire movie who he had dated like fifteen years earlier. Apparently he had only ever had one girlfriend his whole life. And she was fuckin ugly too. I wouldn't fuck her with someone else's dick. That's about all I have to say about this movie.

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