old people would email to tell me what a bastard I am, except they don't know how to work a computer
The Pros of Catapulting all Old People into the Sun
No more waiting in line for half an hour at the drive-thru at McDonald's while some old fart decides whether they want a cheeseburger or a fish sandwich.
No more being stuck behind some geriatric driver going twenty miles an hour under the speed limit.
No more worthless Christmas or birthday presents like footstools, basketball stickers, or used razor blades left over from when your grandpa was still alive...fifteen years ago.
No more stories about how easy we young-uns have it.
No more stories about how people used to have to walk eight miles to school in the snow naked, carrying their younger sibling on their shoulders, going uphill both ways.
Federal funds previously earmarked for social security can now be used for useful things like research for improving video games.
No more shitty oldies music playing at the grocery store or the restaurant you frequent.
All wealth held by old people would automatically be inherited by young people who can actually enjoy it.
No more having some old bitch pay for something using all pennies, counted out one at a time.
Election results would come in much quicker because there wouldn't be nearly as many votes to count.
No more high school mandatory field trips to nursing homes to sing Christmas songs to people who are most likely not going to remember you were there anyway.
No more having to yell just so they can hear you.
No more trying to explain technology, like the fact that nobody uses a typewriter anymore.
No more commercials for old people crap like motorized carts and cheap life insurance for people who are about to die anyway.
No more having to click past old people TV channels like the Travel Channel and C-Span.
Hospital staffs would actually be adequate so that people wouldn't have to wait six hours for a doctor to set your broken arm.
Bob Evans would go out of business, making room for more Hooters locations.
There wouldn't be nearly as many local news shows.
No more waiting in line at the grocery store behind some old person who swears that peas were ninety-seven cents, and not the ninety-nine cents the cashier is trying to charge.
The pharmaceutical industry could concentrate on coming up with a cure for stupidity.
No more hearing old people complain about young people.
Somebody could make a killing selling live coverage of old people being catapulted into the sun on Pay-Per-View.
The Cons of Catapulting Old People into the Sun
We wouldn't be able to make fun of old people anymore.
old people would email to tell me what a bastard I am, except they don't know how to work a computer