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Get ready for some shocking news. Kid Rock is NOT retarded. I know. I never thought I would say that either, but there it is.

From the first time I hear Kid Rock shout "My name is Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite, White Trash!" (I think that's how that went) on MTV, I always had a special fondness for the singer. The kind of fondness you have for something that is so revolting you that you want to hate it, yet you just can't stop laughing. Kind of like die-hard Christians or the movie "You Got Served." Never in my life had I heard someone so perfectly blend shitty lyrics, a country/rap-fused bastardization of hard rock, a band full of douches, and the trailer-park look. For years I have loved to make fun of Kid Rock.

And then I picked up last month's Playboy. Kid Rock was the one interviewed for their 20 Questions segment, and I snickered as I flipped to the article, ready to get a few good laughs from some arrogantly retarded Kid Rock quotes. For the first three questions I thought to myself "Hmmmm, that's a surprisingly not-retarded answer coming from Kid Rock." Then starting at question five I was thinking "Hey wait a minute, maybe he isn't retarded after all. Twenty funny and insightful answers later, I found myself (gasp) respecting Kid Rock. I never thought I would use the words funny, insightful, and Kid Rock in the same sentence but there you have it. He actually gave some very intelligent answers on subjects such as the problems in the recording industry, music downloading, the Iraq situation, managing money, and women. Absolutely amazing. The same guy who once wrote a song whose chorus went "Bawitdaba-da-bang-da-dang-diggy-diggy-diggy-said-the Boogie-said-up-jump-the-boogie," was actually sounding intelligent. In fact, there were places, such as where he explained that if you're nice you have a better chance of getting to stick it in your girlfriend's ass, where I thought to myself "My God, that sounds like something I'd say! He's a fucking genius."

So you see, if I can admit I was wrong about Kid Rock, I can admit I was wrong about anything. So all you fuckers who think I'm just an angry, opinionated asshole who never admits he's wrong can go promptly to hell.

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