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Damn, I thought I wanted to do Angelina Jolie before. Then I just read recently that not only does she have lesbian tendencies, she claims to be an expert in lesbian love. Talk about good news. That's the greatest thing I've ever heard. Not only is she boneriffic, she likes chicks. God that's awesome. She says that women just know how to do certain things better. Hell yes. As an expert in lesbian sex, I have to agree with her. Lesbians just do it better, plain and simple. I mean chicks really go at it, plus there's all those titties flopping around. It's just the greatest thing in the world. If in fact there is such a place as heaven, I think it's just one big lesbian orgy for all of eternity, because there is nothing better that I can think of. God I need to calm down. I'm going to need to spend some alone time. I would kill for the chance to have a threesome with Angelina Jolie and some other chick. I would kill many many people. I wouldn't even care who the other chick was, just so long as it was a threesome and one of the two chicks was Angelina Jolie.

But I have even better news! I know, you didn't think it could get any better than the mere fact that Angelina Jolie is bisexual, but there's more. Apparently, we all have a chance! What, you say? There's no way, Randy! How could some fat balding horndog get a chick like her? I'll tell you how. Apparently she's a whore! Yes! Playboy recently ran a piece on the best celebrity sex quotes, and Angelina made the list for "I need more sex, okay? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world." Everyone? YES! EVERYONE! That includes me! And I suppose you too. But it definitely includes me! YES! I have a chance! That's the best news I've heard since, no, that's the best news I've ever heard! Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to get going so I can find an email address for a fan club for Miss Jolie so I can be a gentleman and volunteer my assistance to her to reach her goal.

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