I hate people. I really do. And I don't mean they just kind of bother me a little bit. I mean I fucking hate people. Most people don't contribute anything other than annoyance to my life. There just isn't really anything good that comes from their existence. If I could live without technology and fast food, I'd probably become a hermit and live in a rock somewhere. Here's why.
They're Fucking Stupid
Most people are fucking stupid. And it's getting worse because the stupid people reproduce a lot more than the few intelligent ones. It needs to stop. Stupid people need to fucking wear condoms. Or better yet just don't have sex ever. There should be a law requiring I.Q. tests to drive, reproduce, and work with the public. Anyone who can't figure out how to scan my Cookie Crisp at the Kroger checkout has no fucking business working anywhere their stupidity will affect me.
They're Fucking Ugly
Most people are ugly, and just looking at them is enough to put me in a bad mood.
They're Fucking Annoying
Rather than do the courteous thing and leave me the fuck alone, most people try and act like they're my best friend. Why, I don't know, because I'm an asshole. But everybody always wants to talk about their pet, their shitty day, their f**lings, or their diarrhea. And I don't give a rat's ass.
They're Fucking Boring
My inspiration for today's rant came from earlier today when I was in a restaurant sitting at a table next to what just might be the four most boring people I've ever encountered. Their thrilling meal-time conversation included discussions about shish-kabobs, the proper way to make blue cheese dressing, and complaints about how difficult it is to find good flavorful tomatoes. Jesus fucking Christ, even my mom can come up with more interesting things to talk about. So naturally I turned around and told them that if they don't have anything more interesting to talk about than fucking tomatoes and blue cheese dressing, then maybe they should all just shut the fuck up. Then they looked at me like I was the asshole, not them for boring the living shit out of every other human being within hearing distance of their flavorful tomato conversation. God I fucking hate people.