Fads. Bane of human progress. We've all been caught up in them at one time in our lives. And by "we", I mean everyone else. I'm too smart to get caught up in some flavor of the month bullshit that people later look back on and laugh at. So since I'm above ever doing anything that could potentially embarass me later, I figured the best thing to do would be to make fun of everyone who does. So without further ado...
Crappiest Fads Ever
Flannel Shirts
When I was in grade school, only losers and poor people wore flannel shirts. Then, I went to junior high school and all of a sudden it was the cool thing to do. Then, it went back to being for losers and poor people only.
Pre-ripped Blue Jeans
Another example of something once thought of as a sign of poverty suddenly becoming cool. When I was a kid, I played outside a lot, and I tore many a pair of blue jeans. I was made fun of for wearing ripped jeans. Then along came the late eighties and earlier nineties rock bands and all of a sudden, torn blue jeans was the new thing. So jean manufacturers did customers the courtesy of ripping blue jeans before they shipped them so all the rich kids could be cool looking like they were poor. Maybe it's me, but when I buy clothes, if the fabric is torn, that's a defective product. But then again, I'm not retarded.
Hacky-sacks
The whole idea of this thrilling game was to continue kicking this little bean bag up in the air and not letting it touch the ground. Kind of like what fagball---I mean soccer players do to show off their skills to people they fail to realize don't give a rat's ass. Hacky-sack was often a problem-riddled game for the stoners who played it because their enormous cargo pants limited their leg mobility, an essential in this beloved activity. Which brings me to my next topic...
Cargo Pants
Why people suddenly decided wearing pants that would fit three people your size was beyond me. Clowns wear pants that size. And do you know why? They wear them to make people laugh because they it looks ridiculous. Who the fuck looked at a clown and thought "Boy, those huge-ass pants are pretty stylin'. I think I want to wear my pants that big so I can look cool too."
Visors Worn Upside-down and Backwards
Of all the God damn stupid looking things people have ever done in the name of "looking cool," this one is bar far the most fucking retarded. Did people seriously not realize what asshats they looked like? Maybe intentionally looking like a dipshit works for some people, but I really don't get it.
Thick Glasses
When I was a kid, we made fun of and beat up kids with really thick glasses. Then, a few emo bands started wearing them and all the emo faggots went out and got them. And we made fun of them and kicked their candy asses. And speaking of emo...
Emo Hair
How fucking stupid do emo faggots look? I mean really. They've got the hair longer on one side than the other, hanging down over their eyes like dick clowns who don't know how to use a fucking comb. Get a real haircut asshole.
POG's
I never understood this one. It was so fucking stupid I don't even know what to say about it.
WWJD
Otherwise known as the "be a pompous asshole and act like your shit doesn't stink because you love Jesus" fad.Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking anyone's religious beliefs. There's a lot of good core values that make up the framework of Christianity, it's the people who claim to hold such values that give it a bad name. What really got me about this one was how genuinely well-intentioned the thinking behind it was. Here was a genuine attempt to get people to think about the morality of their actions on a regular basis. Of course the human factor kicked in and BAM! All the good intentions went to shit because people instead used it as yet another fashion statement or even worse, a symbol of how good a person they considered themselves to be.
Sunglasses Worn While Inside
I don't know if this would actually be considered a fad, or just something dumbasses do to try and look cool. Either way it's fucking stupid.
Metrosexual Bullshit
Gay people dressing gay is fine. Good for them. The media telling me, as a straight guy, how cool it is to dress like a gay guy, is asinine.
Beanie Babies
Jesus H. Christ, this one pissed me off to no end because my parents were into this one. Not only did they collect them, they would sell and trade them. They'd go to Beanie Baby shows, have garage sales with Beanie Baby tables set up. It was infuriating. There are people starving in the world and people were paying hundreds of dollars for some fucking stupid stuffed animals. Can't we leave the toys to, oh I don't know, KIDS WHO ACTUALLY PLAY WITH THE FUCKING THINGS? Oh that's right, can't play with them now, they're worth more if they're in mint condition and in the original fucking package. Well soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorry.
Magic: The Gathering
Okay, so this wasn't so much a fad as it was a nerd fetish, but I'll put it here anyway. I remember the Magic table in my high school cafeteria. All the Magic dorks would eat at the same table every day and play while everyone pointed and laughed. I still think one of the funniest things I've ever seen was the fist fight that broke out between two of them over whether ogres or trolls were more powerful.