Once again, Earth Day is upon us. Here are some reasons not to care.
Trees are a pain in the ass.
Most of the animal species on this planet just do nothing but piss people off anyway. Like bugs. And the French.
Forests are useless, but strip malls and parking lots make everyone happy.
Global warming is cool because hotter weather means less snow, and snow pisses people off.
Animals look better with pockets and a zipper anyway.
Rainforests are ugly, dark, and wet. Therefore anything that chooses to live there can only be up to no good.
Excessive trash lets otherwise useless land have a purpose by being turned into a landfill.
When was the last time an endangered species did anything for you?
Exhaust fumes make cars look tougher and more badass .
Future generations will have better energy sources than fossil fuels anyhow.
And even if they don't, we'll all be dead by then anyway.
Artificial foods are unhealthy, so we should eat as many animals and plants as we can.
I don't know about you, but the Ozone has never put a dollar in my pocket.
If we fuck up this planet bad enough, maybe all the dirty, tree-hugging hippies will go somewhere else.
And then there's the people who say that humans can't ruin this planet. They say it's arrogant of us to think we can possibly destroy life that existed for thousands of years before us and will continue to exist until the end of time. Sounds like a challenge to me.