Some people just never get over things, including things that happened over a hundred years before they were born. The other day, I went to White-Trash Fest 2005, otherwise known as the Clark County Fair in Springfield, Ohio. I saw something that really made me think "What the fuck is wrong with you people?" There was a booth set up with Confederate apparel, and it was called Rednecks, as though that is a label they were proud of.
Before I lay into these asshats, let's get one thing clear. I am in no way anti-Southern. You see, anti-Southern implies that I have a problem with people for the simple reason that they're from the South, and that isn't true. I have no problem with anybody simply for being from the South, that doesn't bother me one bit. If you insist on labeling me, I'll help you out so you at least get it right. I am anti-dumbass. I hate all kinds of dumbasses; hippies, jocks, rappers, self-righteous religious zealots, and ignorant hillbillies who walk around in their Confederate attire as though they actually have something to be proud of.
Why are people so fucking proud of the fact they're retarded? Seriously, what is there to be proud of? It's a dead cause from a war that happened a century and a half ago and there are still shitheads walking around as though anybody but them gives a crap that they're bitter about being Americans. I may bitch a lot, but I would think that I could let something go after a hundred and fifty years. Wearing your Confederate pride shit is no different than going over to England and bitching at them about a fucking tea tax they put on us two and a half centuries ago. It doesn't matter anymore. In case you haven't noticed, America and England are now what you call "allies." That means we don't bitch and moan about something that happened a couple hundred years ago. It's over, we moved on. Rednecks, however, don't seem to want to move on. They just keep parading that shit around as though they actually stand for something other than owning slaves, playing the banjo, and fucking their cousins.
Just what the hell does that shit stand for anyway? If you ask rednecks why they wear Confederate flags, they can rarely give you a real answer. About the most intelligent answer you ever get is that it's "their heritage." The real crackup is that so many people who identify themselves with this crap aren't even from the South. I live in Ohio and there's people going on about "their Confederate heritage." And in case you haven't noticed, there's a lot of people from the south who have no problem with the fact that they live in America and don't walk around looking like dumbasses in their Confederate flags. So what really separates those people identifying their "Confederate heritage" from the rest of the people in this country? Maybe the fact that they just enjoy being pissed off about something that happened a hundred and fifty years ago. If all these people are so God damn pissed about being here, why don't they just leave? I guarantee you nobody would stop a mass exodus of cousin-loving hillbillies who decided to pack up their mules and leave.
Honestly, I don't see where the hell they get off thinking the whole thing was an injustice in the first damn place. When you get pissed off at the country you live in because of laws and customs (the phasing out of slavery and attitudes toward incest and sheepfucking) you are more than welcome to leave. But you can't just decide to make your own country because you're pissed off. If you want to make you own country, fine, go somewhere else and do it where there is unclaimed land, but don't just sit there and expect the federal government to just give you half of their land mass because you're pissed off. Let's say, for example, I actually gave a shit about presidential elections, and I had wanted Kerry to win last November. I as a Kerry supporter would be pissed off. Let's say it pisses me off so much that I no longer want to be a citizen of the United States. If that is the case, guess what I do? I GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE COUNTRY. I can't just sit on my ass and announce myself as being my own country. Maybe I'll try that. I'm going to call Washington D.C. and announce that my apartment is henceforth to be known as Randyland, a nation separate from the United States. They would either laugh at me or hang up. And do you know why? Because I can't just take land away from a country because the government makes decisions that piss me off, that's why.
I'm now getting to the point where it's just meaningless bitching, so in conclusion I'll just say this: when you walk around proudly wearing your Confederate flag t-shirt, you may think you actually stand for some grand ideal or some other noble shit, but here's what the rest of the world sees:
rednecks are going to be so pissed off about this article that they are going to start their own country