Kids piss me off. I am so fucking tired of having to bend over backwards because parents don't teach their little shits how to not act like idiots. I thought I'd covered everything that pissed me off about kids and streets in Street = Death, but I was wrong. Twice today I was in my car when I had to stop for kids on their way home from school, because apparently they have special rights and don't have to follow the rules like the rest of us. It's bullshit and it just teaches kids they can do whatever the fuck they want and everyone else will bend over backwards for them. And then we wonder why kids have no respect for anyone but themselves.
The first happened as I was passing a school as it was letting out for the day. So I'm driving along, minding my own business, when I had to slam on my brakes because some old fucker with a crossing guard jacket walks out in front of me with his gay little crossing-guard flag held out, expecting me to stop so ten or fifteen little shit machines can walk across the street, laughing, screaming, and generally pissing me off the whole way. What the fuck is the justification of some old asshole stopping ongoing traffic at a place where there is no traffic light and no stop sign? Oh wait, the justification is that he's doing it so some fucking little kids can cross the street, reinforcing the notion to kids that the entire fucking world revolves around them. We're teaching them to jaywalk, and that when they do, everyone will stop for them. That's bullshit. I can't walk out into the street holding up a little flag and expect traffic to stop. Kids shouldn't be able to either.
Then, a few blocks later, I found myself stopped behind a bus. Apparently the kid couldn't find the door because it was at least seven hours from the time the bus stopped to the time the little asshole jumped out the door with his ugly-ass buzz cut and his gay little Yugi-oh jacket. Of course, the entire time the dipshit is screwing off instead of getting the fuck out the door, traffic is stopped in both directions because of the fucking wanna-be stop sign hanging off the side of the bus. Then the kid decides to jay-walk, taking no less than half an hour to go the 20 feet across the road, delaying all vehicles in both directions even longer than they have been already. So once again, we've given these little shits the impression that they're more important than everyone else and the entire world will bow to their every wish. They don't have to be like every other pedestrian in the whole fucking world and go to a stop light or crosswalk. They don't even have to wait until traffic is clear to cross the street. They can just cross wherever the fuck they want, whenever the fuck they want, and it's okay. Bullshit.
Here's what we should do. Stop letting kids cross the street wherever the fuck, whenever the fuck they want, just because they're kids. The world should not revolve around kids. It doesn't revolve around anybody and we should teach kids that. What we have done is develop a system that teaches kids that everyone must bow down before them, so they carry that with them all their life. As a result, rather than try and fit into our culture's laws, rules, and mores, people try and force our culture to bend over backwards for them. So, when old fuckers walk out to arbitrarily stop traffic in their gay little crossing guard costume, we should be able to run them over and any little kids that try and cross. When little kids try to jaywalk when getting off the bus, run them over.
Now I know what you're all thinking. "OH MY FUCKING GOD RANDY YOU CANT BE SERIOUS YOURE TALKING ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE!!!!!!!"
No, asshole. I'm talking about survival of the fittest. If a kid expects traffic to stop for them, they're either stupid, or they are trying to make the world revolve around them. Either way, we're better off without them. If they were smarter and knew our culture's expectations better, they would be more "fit" and therefore would survive. "OH MY FUCKING GOD RANDY WHAT IF THEY DONT KNOW ANY BETTER?????!!!!!! If they don't know any better, it's because their parents did a shitty job raising them. So since he they had a shitty upbringing, they're never going to make positive contributions to society and we should therefore run them over. Then we should run over the parents for being shitty parents and raising such societal leeches. Then we should run over some old people just for shits and giggles. And maybe a puppy.