OH MY GOD!!!!! ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED!!! OH MY GOD!!!! THIS EVENT HAS SUCH IMMENSE CULTURAL IMPACT!!!! LET'S ALL GO BONKERS AND FREAK OUT ABOUT IT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!! SHE COLLAPSED IN HER HOTEL ROOM!!!!! I BET SHE OD'ED!!!! MY HALF-ASSED OPINION ON HER CAUSE OF DEATH IS TOTALLY IMPORTANT AND WORTHWHILE!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S DEAD!!!! I WANT TO SEE NOTHING ELSE ON THE NEWS EXCEPT ANNA NICOLE 24/7 BECAUSE SHE DIED AND I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! IT'S FUCKING CRAZY!!!!
SHE WAS A BAD PERSON!!!! SHE DIDN'T MARRY THAT OLD GUY BECAUSE SHE LOVED HIM!!! SHE JUST WANTED HIS MONEY!! SURE THAT GUY GOT TO BONE A PLAYBOY MODEL DURING THE TWILIGHT YEARS OF HIS LIFE, BUT THAT'S SO WRONG!!! HE PROBABLY THOUGHT SHE REALLY LOVED HIM!!! I'M SURE SOMEONE WHO WAS SMART ENOUGH TO MAKE A FEW BILLION DOLLARS WASN'T SMART ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT THAT A YOUNG PLAYBOY MODEL WAS MARRYING AN 87-YEAR-OLD BILLIONAIRE FOR HIS MONEY!!!! IT'S SO SAD THAT THAT SWEET 87-YEAR-OLD BILLIONAIRE HAD A PLAYBOY MODEL TO HAVE SEX WITH WHEN OTHER OLD PEOPLE SIT AROUND IN THE NURSING HOME SHITTING IN THEIR PANTS!!!!THIS WHOLE SITUATION VIOLATES MY OWN PERSONAL IDEA OF WHAT A MARRIAGE SHOULD BE!!! THEREFORE, SINCE I PERSONALLY DISAGREE WITH IT, IT'S WRONG AND IT'S TOTALLY MY PLACE TO JUDGE THEM BASED ON THE BELIEFS I BLINDLY ACCEPTED FROM MY PARENTS!!! EVEN THOUGH ANYBODY WOULD HAVE DONE THE EXACT SAME THING IN THEIR POSITION, I'M STILL GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW WRONG IT WAS BECAUSE IT WASN'T ME. I MEAN SURE, IF I HAD THE CHANCE TO MARRY AN OLD GUY TO BE A FEW BILLION DOLLARS RICHER, I'D DO IT!!! AND SURE, IF I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO FUCK A PLAYBOY MODEL AS AN OLD MAN IN EXCHANGE FOR LEAVING HER A FEW BILLION DOLLARS, I'D JUMP ALL OVER THAT SHIT!!! BUT IT'S WRONG AND IT PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DIED!!!!! SHE USED TO BE FAT!!! DID YOU EVER SEE HER SHOW ON E!!!!! SHE WAS FAT THEN, BUT THEN SHE LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT SO SHE WAS HOT AGAIN!!!! SHE HAD REALLY BIG TITTIES!!!!! I WANTED TO TITTY-FUCK HER!!!! I WISH MY WIFE HAD TITTIES LIKE THAT!!!!! I REMEMBER WACKING OFF TO HER PLAYBOY PICTURES!!! GOD SHE WAS FUCKING HOT!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEBODY WHOSE TITTIES I WACKED OFF TO IS DEAD!!!! I WONDER WHAT SHE OD'ED ON!!!! I BETTER TURN ON THE NEWS AGAIN TO SEE IF THERE'S ANY NEW INFORMATION!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!